an interview and a thought experiment

on monday i had my first ever interview with a german company, which was conducted in german(!!). it was with a niche consulting firm which specializes in the purchasing module of SAP ERP software, which happens to be the same topic I’ve had the most experience with in my 14 years of working on SAP projects. i was terribly nervous that the interviewers wouldn’t be able to understand me, especially because I have never talked about work topics in any language other than english. i spent the whole weekend leading up to it prepping, which included logging into SAP in german on Ulrich’s work computer so i could memorize a few basic terms.

afterwards it was hard for me to say how well the interview went - there were certainly a couple of uncomfortable moments, like when i asked them if it would be feasible for me to work 20-hr weeks (they said no; 30 was the minimum) or when they asked about my desired salary, which blindsided me as I wasn’t expecting to discuss it during a first interview. i stumbled around trying to make rough calculations in my head and wound up giving a range which was way too high. but overall i felt proud of how things went! the interviewers mostly seemed to understand the things i said, even though i heard myself making an abundance of grammatical errors, my hands gesturing wildly whenever i blanked on a word or accidentally slipped in english terms without thinking. my german teacher once remarked that learning a foreign language means giving up on the idea of always sounding like an adult, and i felt that deeply during the interview. and yet - somehow - they understood me.

i received the good news via e-mail today: they would like to invite me to a second-round interview with one of their partners! my heart jumped into my throat and yelped: yesyesyes we did it! we aced our first interview in german!

but after the initial excitement calmed, i felt a sense of uncertainty and simmering panic. could i really go back to working on SAP projects? wasn’t that precisely the world of immense pressure, impossible deadlines and stress that I was running away from when I finally left my job last may? what could possibly be different this time around, except that my german might improve along the way?

and thus i currently find myself conducting a little thought experiment: what does it take for an experience you’re already familiar with to feel - well, different from what you know? as a simplified example: if i were asked to describe a house, i would say that it’s a small building with 4 exterior walls, a roof, and on the inside a kitchen, at least one bedroom and a bathroom, and perhaps a garden in the back. if someone took away the garden, would it still be a house? i would say yes. what about if both the garden and the roof were removed, would that still be a house? i would say - well, yes, it’s a house which is missing its roof. but about if you removed the garden, the roof and the kitchen? i’m not sure i would call it a house anymore.

i am wondering if there is a similar analogy when it comes to my understanding of SAP projects. there are a few integral aspects of my past experience which, if switched out one at a time, might change my understanding of what it’s like to work with SAP. for example, i used to work not only full time but long overtime hours, sometimes starting early in the morning and taking calls late into the night with people across the world and many time zones away from me. we were working for a large, american manufacturer, with a nonstop growth, do-whatever-it-takes culture. now, if i am truly able to limit my working hours to no more than 30, work primarily with clients and coworkers in the same time zone, and in a setting which at least seems to honor downtime and rest - if germans’ annual vacation allotment is any indicator of their attitudes - then am i still likely to repeat the same nightmare experience which i was trying to escape before?

hmm…

Photo by Juan Rumimpunu on Unsplash