Sick Day
Alas! somewhere between the after-dinner hours last night and waking up this morning i developed a low-grade fever and achey muscles, and i’ve spent most of the day either buried under blankets in bed or on the couch with the cats nestled in the cranny between my legs.
there is something that i realized the last time i was sick, back in ~mid-October or so, which seems true about the way i feel today too: the most noticeable thing about this type of illness is not necessarily pain or unpleasantness, but the lack of integration between various body parts, each of which seems to have broken off from the greater whole and started doing its own thing in isolation. if i zoom in very closely on individual sensations, like the pulsating warmth in my left thigh or the stiffness along the back of my neck, after awhile the discomfort disappears and nothing seems “off” to me at all. but if i zoom back out and attempt to take on any activities which require me to move my body as one coordinated, undivided thing - to get up out of bed, for instance, or go for a walk or do house chores - then the individual body parts refuse to work together synchronously, and so i let myself succumb to gravity and burrow further into the bed, having to accept that i’m not well.
it’s interesting to be back in this place again, like i’m visiting an old friend in a slowed-down dimension which i quickly abandon each time i recover. i do hope that i’ll get better sooner rather than later - i’ve got plans to attend to, people to see! a new year to celebrate! - but for now, since i’m already here, i think i’ll relax and try to enjoy the ride.